2007 Resolutions

Here are my New Year's Resolutions:

-Nutrition: Time to start eating better, so I am going to double my chocolate intake this year.

-Exercise: I am finally going to try salsa dancing with my friends. But I really don't want to go by myself, so I won't go until Tina and Alan finally try it as well. It'd also be nice if Katie, Anne, and Lisa were there so that they can be subjected to my salsa move experiments. And I'd really like it if Rob went and wore pink tights so that someone at the club will feel more embarrassed than I will.

- Work: I will finish my thesis. Actually, that's probably a bit too ambitious.

- Personal: This time, for real, I will grow a handlebar mustache.

- Hobbies: I will finally beat Carl at St. Petersburg!

What I want for Christmas

• A new rug that doesn't make everyone who sits on it sneeze
• Membership to Hair Club for Men so I can get my handlebar moustache to grow
• Straight As
• Victory against Carl at St. Petersburg
• A teleporter device so I can come and go from East Lansing as I please
• A green thumb

Ability meme

You bold anything you can do, italicize anything you wish you could do, and add one new skill you're proud of to the end.

+ Use chopsticks
+ Speak more than one language
+ Roll my tongue
+ Play a musical instrument
+ Name every single pokemon character
+ Sing in tune
+ Use html
+ Cross my eyes
+ Put both feet behind my head
+ Ride a horse
+ Swim
+ Shuffle playing cards with a fancy move
+ Move and wiggle my eyebrows independently of each other
+ Play chess and win
+ Ride a bike
+ Drive
+ Do long division in my head
+ Draw quite convincingly
+ Bake cakes (anyone want one?)
+ Stand on my head
+ Do cartwheels
+ Spell Czechoslovakia without having to look it up first
+ Identify any garden bird
+ Mix a mean cocktail
+ Read music
+ Style hair like a professional (that's why mine is always so stylish)
+ Tell the difference between Prada and nada at a glance
+ Whistle
+ Recite whole passages from the Lord Of The Rings books by heart
+ Remember birthdays and anniversaries without being reminded
+ Tap dance
+ Defuse an argument easily
+ Nurse any sick plant back to health (it would come in handy for my research)
+ Cook anything
+ Forgive quickly (it comes in handy for my non-blog authors)
+ Train a dog
+ Commit things to memory without effort
+ Stick my big toe up and my little toes down
+ Freakishly bend my double-jointed thumb
+ Remove any stain
+ Do anything with makeup
+ Open jars without trouble
+ Charm the pants off people (especially my committee members)
+ Hold my breath for a minute
+ Roller-skate
+ Understand Shakespeare
+ Listen
+ Sew curtains
+ Decipher morse code
+ Click my fingers
+ Complete crossword puzzles
+ Finish a book once I start it
+ Fold napkins into pretty fan shapes
+ Crochet scarves (anyone want one?)
+ Cheer people up
+ Write multi-chapter fan fic stories
+ Rock at Six Degrees of Separation
+ Tell a debit from a credit in general ledger accounting
+ Solve legal problems and say 'yes, the answer would be yes, but it all depends you see...'
+ Teach
+ Teach real estate agents
+ Repair a bicycle puncture
+ Assemble flat packed furniture
+ Wiggle my ears without touching them
+ Type over 60 words per minute
+ Run a nuclear reactor (bwa ha ha ha!)
+ Take ugly writing and make it pretty
+ Confidently talk about sports with anyone
+ Write moving blog entries

My reader list grows...

I have recently been informed that certain members of my graduate committee have been reading (and enjoying!) my non-blog. This is wonderful news for non-bloggers everywhere! It is such an honor that my professors want to know what I have to not-say. I am so proud of my non-blog!

I shall never eat again

Greetings, my beloved readers; I trust you have had as (ful)filling a Thanksgiving as I myself have enjoyed. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go be de-juiced like Violet Beauregard lest I suffer the same fate as George.

Getting my money's worth

This past summer, I was shopping for a coffee table. My good friend Emily and I stopped at a garage sale, which was run by a poor defenseless lady in a wheelchair. This helpless, kindly woman wanted an outrageous sum of money for her coffee table, so I began to bargain with her. With Emily making helpful comments such as “You know Todd, it really is a nice coffee table,” I managed to use my hardnosed bargaining abilities to fleece the little old lady and obtain my coffee table for a steal! So, if you ever need someone to help you rip off old ladies in wheelchairs, I'm your man!

A new goal

See this guy on the picture at the right? Doesn't he look stylish? In my opinion, his fab look isn't due to the suit he's wearing or his enviable posture. I'm convinced that his primo appearance is a direct result of...his handlebar mustache.

So I've made a decision. Once I successfully pass my comps, I too will join the ranks of this fellow. I will grow a handlebar mustache.

It will be difficult at times; it's not exactly the current fashion trend. But I've never felt a need to be trendy, and I'm willing to go a long way to prove that to the world.

So I am asking a favor from you, my faithful non-blog readers. If you see me turning my back on this goal of mine; if you see me mustache-less the next time we meet, remind me of how I've erred in my ways.