I here at toddtheblogless dot blogspotdot com always have the best interests of you, the reader, at heart. Since I started not blogging, I have gotten many pieces of fan mail from my wide readership and have thus decided that it is time to start responding to my loyal fans. That's right, kids: it's time for the toddtheblogless dot blogspot dot com question of the day week whenever I get around to it. Just send in your fanmail, inquiries, and all checks and money orders, and you too can have your name and letter featured here on toddtheblogless dot blogspot dot you get the idea.

This week's piece of fanmail comes from Dave from Duluth, Minnesota:

Hi Todd, been a huge fan of your not-blog since 1997. Where did you come up with the idea of a not-blog?

Well, Dave, that's an interesting question, especially since I've only been not-blogging for a week and a half now. Really, at heart, I always knew I'd grow up to be a not-blogger. I remember thinking back in 6th grade when Connie Mumford turned me down for the third time that, you know, I really ought to go home and not blog about this. And when I went through my angsty goth phase two weeks later... well. You should have seen all of the not-blog posts I wrote back then. Whilst others were writing their epic poems about how they were so mad at their parents and all hail lord Korrock, I was busy not-posting my own. As you can see, by the time I reached my twenties, I was finally ready to begin a not-blog all of my own.

And now I ask you this: why the heck does everybody always write in from Duluth?

That's it for today's infrequently asked question! See y'all next time at toddtheohwhatever.

Late-night musings

You know, it's really interesting to not blog. Lately, I've been pondering the intricacies that are involved with not blogging. Here are some of my thoughts:

First, it makes me realize how many people are interested in my life. Not having a blog intrinsically makes me more mysterious. Maybe I can find a good way to exploit this...bwa ha ha! Oh, sorry -- that was Tamerlane speaking.

Second, sticking with the Tamerlane theme, it seems like Tamerlane is more fiesty now that I've officially started a blog by not blogging. He's plotting all sorts of revenge tactics. Of course, he'll be pretty lucky to pull stunts past Ghengis. That Ghengis always foils my plans.

Finally, I now have a new component to my daily routine. Basically, because I don't blog, I have to check my blog for updates on my life. Is it weird that I learn things about my life by visiting my blog that I use for not blogging? Wait, did that even make sense?

My mastercard commercial

If I had a mastercard commercial, it might go something like this:

Transportation to and from game night: $12
Food to keep me awake for the long car drive: $4
Food to keep me awake in lab meeting the next morning: $2

Beating Carl at St. Petersburg: Priceless.

Ye win some, ye lose some, arr...

Arrr, thar's not much t' do down at Kbs, so I took a break from studyin' for my comps t' play Saint Petersburg. Since I don't mightily have any friends down thar who be nearly at my caliber for this game, I decided the only way Me would get a good match and preparation for my lifelong goal o' defeatin' my nemesis would be t' challenge the only players around who be as good, and as handsome I might add, as Me am.

So me, myself, I, and Todd sat down t' play a game o' good-old Saint Petersbug. Thin's progressed as usual durin' the openin' green phase, but me was a little worried when myself got that lucky obser'atory in the blue phase, usin' it t' take from the green deck in the first two rounds as Captain Carl always said to. Meanwhile, Todd was keepin' an eye on I who drew a Mistress in the orange phase and had just enough money t' play it out right away too. She's a pretty wench... wouldn't mind seein' more o' her... er, um... right, the game...

By round three, Todd managed t' get out four aristocrats, I had picked up the other obser'atory, myself was rakin' in the money, and me was lookin' a little bit behind the rest. No good upgrades came out durin' the third upgrade phase, so the board did be clogged a little. Combined with verily expensi'e buildin's, only one spot opened for an administrator in the fourth round, and me snatched up, e'enin' himself out with the rest o' the pack. Thin's went about status quo until the 6th round, whar myself went on a buildin' spree big enough t' trigger endgame. Todd picked up two more aristrocrats this round, brin'in' his mighty up t' 7 unique/8 'nall, and got the lucky draw on the upgrade phase t' gi'e him the win.

Final scores war: Todd 86, me 80, I 75, myself 72. A good game by e'eryon!

In honor of ... me, I guess ... I give you 100 reasons not to blog.

Don't use them all in one place. :)

Hi, I'm Todd the Blogless. You may remember me from such blogs as "Abort, Retry, Fail" or "La vache est fachée ... et la fille est triste."

Actually, I don't have a blog. But if I did, it might look something like this.

I suppose for my first non-blog post, I should tell you a bit about myself. I live in the green wilderness of Michigan with a bunch of other scientists. Sometimes we play soccer.

I study plant behavior. It sounds like that should be easier than studying the behavior of humans or animals, but it's not. You try interviewing a conifer and see how easy it is.

When I'm not buried in research (or sometimes even when I am), I enjoy strategy games. Well, "enjoy," "am obsessed with beating Carl at St. Petersburg," whatever. What some people call obsession I call healthy competition. (Now with 20% more treachery! No, wait, that's Shadows. If I could ever get to be the traitor.)

Happy not-blogging, everyone.

This is it, ladies and gents: the one and only Todd the Blogless has a... blog? Well, a blog in his honor, at least. A late-night sleep-depraved... er, deprived... discussion has, in fact, spawned a blog in honor of Todd the Blogless. Why? Because when you have insomnia, everything seems like a great idea.