Great news!

I got a very exciting phone call today. A recruiter from ABC was at Carl and Steph's wedding and saw my amazing dancing talent. They want me to be on the next Dancing with the Stars as one of the professionals! I hope they recruit Oprah to be my partner, though I wouldn't say no to Kirsten Dunst either.

What to wear?

Ah, wedding season. I love weddings, and I’m overjoyed about attending a wedding this weekend for two good friends of mine. The problem is that I can’t decide what to wear. It’s a special occasion, and that calls for special attire. I’d like to poll my blog readers for what they think I should wear.

Option #1: I will wear this shirt with some nice khaki pants.

Option #2: A bit more extravagant – I will wear this suit that I’ve been keeping around for years.

Opinions and suggestions?

IMPORTANT NEWS ANNOUNCEMENT

My dear friend Pi-Man has told me a very important piece of news. Due to a change in circumstances, Pi-Man will be shifting his superpowers. That's right: he will no longer be Pi-Man; his new name and super power will be Pi-Man.

Happy Pi Day!

This song is 3 minutes and 14 seconds long.

Additionally, Pi-Man will go to the florist's today and buy exactly four roses. Three of these roses will remain intact. The fourth will be carefully measured and cut down to 14% of its original size. These roses will be delivered to Katie's doorstep at exactly 3:14 this afternoon.

I apologize

Dear readers, it has come to my attention that I haven't not-blogged in a long time. I, of course, have a very good reason for this lack of a lack of blogging: I have decided against not giving up not-blogging for Lent, but instead to not not-give-up not-not-blogging, which will manifest itself on this non-blog as a distinct not-lack of not-blogposts, which will not be demonstrated through a not-lack of non-blogging, but through a not-blog blog about my not-blogging, which may or may not resemble my current not-blog. As a special message to my not-blog non-readers, fear not: in short, this Lent I vow to not not-blog as often as I have not not not-blogged in the past. Or not.

Sweet, sweet victory

Victory is mine! MINE, I say!!

For those of you who didn't witness me in all my glory, I beat Carl at St. Petersburg last night. I believe the conversation went a little something like this:

My friend: (gasps) "Todd, you won!!"
Me: "Ahem...not only did I WIN, but Carl came in LAST!"
My friend: "Um...well yes but you only won by 2 points."
Me: "But I WON! Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!"
Another friend: "Gee Todd...how did you do that? It takes so much skill!"
Me: "Well, see, it was quite simple and trivial..."
Friend #3: "Todd won? I'm so impressed -- you're the best St. Petersburg player in Lansing!"
Me: "Why thank you; I have to agree..."
Friend #3: "Actually, I'll bet that you're the best St. Petersburg player in the entire world!"
Friend #4: "No wait -- in the entire UNIVERSE!"
All my friends: "All hail Todd! He has been victorious at last!"
Carl: "Todd, you're going to have to give me some gaming tips. Have any advice on when to take a Mistress?"

*everyone pauses*

All my friends: (chanting) "Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd!"

This has been one of the best days of my life.

Twooo Wuv

Ladies and gentlemen, I have finally found the perfect mate...

...for Katie.

That's right, people. Feast your eyes on this vision of studliness. And he's even a superhero! Why, I wouldn't be surprised if he used his superpowers even last night to vigilantly guard her doorstep! Alas that she did not look out in time to see him, his eyes the color of dirt, his hair unkempt and unwashed in the desperation of his love, holding a bouquet of dandelions and two queens of clubs, begging, pleading, saying, "if only Katie would love me!" Carpe diem, Katie, carpe diem.

Perhaps it is for the best. After all, how can she, Rob, and Lisa have their triple honeymoon if she is the only one married? Perhaps this perfect match for Katie can simultaneously find them their respective life mates. One can only hope.