I shall never eat again

Greetings, my beloved readers; I trust you have had as (ful)filling a Thanksgiving as I myself have enjoyed. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go be de-juiced like Violet Beauregard lest I suffer the same fate as George.

Getting my money's worth

This past summer, I was shopping for a coffee table. My good friend Emily and I stopped at a garage sale, which was run by a poor defenseless lady in a wheelchair. This helpless, kindly woman wanted an outrageous sum of money for her coffee table, so I began to bargain with her. With Emily making helpful comments such as “You know Todd, it really is a nice coffee table,” I managed to use my hardnosed bargaining abilities to fleece the little old lady and obtain my coffee table for a steal! So, if you ever need someone to help you rip off old ladies in wheelchairs, I'm your man!

A new goal

See this guy on the picture at the right? Doesn't he look stylish? In my opinion, his fab look isn't due to the suit he's wearing or his enviable posture. I'm convinced that his primo appearance is a direct result of...his handlebar mustache.

So I've made a decision. Once I successfully pass my comps, I too will join the ranks of this fellow. I will grow a handlebar mustache.

It will be difficult at times; it's not exactly the current fashion trend. But I've never felt a need to be trendy, and I'm willing to go a long way to prove that to the world.

So I am asking a favor from you, my faithful non-blog readers. If you see me turning my back on this goal of mine; if you see me mustache-less the next time we meet, remind me of how I've erred in my ways.

Halfway to comprehensive completion

If I were the kind of person to keep a blog, I would use this opportunity to let everyone know that I've successfully (I hope) completed my written comprehensive exams. My orals are coming up in a week or so. Wish me luck!

Also remember to come to my post-comps party on Saturday Nov 4. A good time will be had by all! More details to follow.

In honor of one full month of not-blogging, some inspiration:

If only comps were so easy.

Is your understanding of my situation comprehensive?

Well, I'm heading into a week of many exams. Please wish me luck!

I wanted to let you know about the exams because I'm going to be pretty busy over the next week. As a result, I won't be blogging often. Wait. Maybe I will be blogging often.

Hm, it seems like this non-blog thing can get pretty complicated. And unpredictable.

Throwing down the (chocolate) gauntlet!

I hereby challenge Katie W to a chocolate eating contest!

I was severely disappointed when I learned that after all these years of claiming to be a chocoholic, she is really a chocolate lightweight! Indeed, Saturday night she had the chance to drink a delicious mug of homemade hot chocolate, and she failed miserably! Lindsey and Carl both had finished their mugs before Katie even finished half of hers.

Now I know that I am the true champion of chocolate eating, and I will crush Katie the pretender when we meet on the field of battle!