A change in research, perhaps?

Hmm, perhaps I should focus on implementing a system like this on a much larger scale. Perhaps, instead of a phone call from a houseplant, the system can be tied to an automatic cloud seeder. Think of the implications for my dissertation!

Alternately, I'd accept a system for gauging levels of Theobroma cacao in my system. Something that could tell me when I've had enough, or when I desperately need more, especially combined with Arachis hypogaea.

Oh wait. That system would be my stomach.

Happy New Year!

Hello, my faithful (and bored) readers! Happy 2008!

Since I am a very contemplative person, I've recently been thinking a lot about my resolutions for 2008. Should I attempt to do something simple but unique, like grow an even larger handlebar mustache? Or should I strive for the ultimate resolution --love, happiness, and data?

I've decided to take a very middle-of-the-road approach. This resolution will be challenging, but accomplishable. At times I know that I will want to give up, but I am determined to push myself until I acheive my goal. And from tackling this resolution, I hope to ultimately grow into a better person.

My resolution for 2008 is the following: to learn to love the combination of chocolate and peanut butter.

You see, I love both chocolate and peanut butter, but I don't like them together. For years I've been this way. I can eat peanut butter sandwiches until the cows come home. And I know that my faithful readers know my deep appreciation for chocolate, since I've been gracious enough to bake them chocolately desserts from time to time. Why don't I like chocolate and peanut butter together, then? I feel like I'm a walking contradiction!

Alas, the trials that this quest will produce! No longer shall I look in disdain at Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. No longer will I be able to turn down Moose Tracks ice cream. And gone are the days when I will keep the peanut butter jar and a Hershey's bar on opposite sides of my office desk.

To recap, combining chocolate and peanut butter (and liking that combo) will be my goal for 2008. Perhaps my faithful readers will support me in my quest by showering me with new treats that I can learn to enjoy.

Cause for Celebration Pt 2

Continuing the trend of all the very best and coolest people in the world being born in September, it is my birthday today!

My birthday wish list includes chocolate, peanut butter (but not together!), pie, pi, a cat as wonderful as Isis, beating Carl at St. Petersburg, beating Lindsey at Doppelkopf, lots of red meat, Dance Dance Revolution (so I can practice my crazy-awesome moves!), more posts on my non-blog, and a date with a Red Wings player for my friend Lindsey.

There may be a few things I've forgotten. Feel free to suggest them here!

Celebrating the celebratory

The patriotic explosions of the recent holiday reminded me of some of my favorite holidays. Of course there are the holidays everyone celebrates, like the Fourth, Halloween, or Arbor Day (extended broadly to include all plants ... see also: the joy of data). But my most favorite holiday ever* is one you've probably never heard of: All Holes Day.

No, it's not a religious holiday like All Saints Day or All Souls Day. Well, I suppose if you're St. Carlos celebrating with holy snark, it could become one. But in general, not so much.

August 5th marks one full year of combined sucking for my good friends the Black Holes. In my deeply personal day of remembrance**, I plan to celebrate by wearing black ... baking and eating chocolate chip cookies ... dispensing doom via St. Petersburg, Doppelkopf, or (if necessary) video games ... looking up at the night sky and pondering all the black parts where black holes might be ... and using rhetoric in crafty ways.

Surely I will win one of the booby prizes for best celebrant or best blog post about the holiday! Perhaps I even will be granted a puffy-painted talisman of awesome!

I am so confident that I invite competition from my friends and enemies. Surely you cannot defeat me!







* in honor of people with astronomical names. No comment on what happens if they institute a Halle Berry Day.

** Of course, my desire to win a frightening prize does not tarnish the sincerity of my celebration. For, lo, it is the spirit of the season!

Throwing down the (chocolate) gauntlet!

I hereby challenge Katie W to a chocolate eating contest!

I was severely disappointed when I learned that after all these years of claiming to be a chocoholic, she is really a chocolate lightweight! Indeed, Saturday night she had the chance to drink a delicious mug of homemade hot chocolate, and she failed miserably! Lindsey and Carl both had finished their mugs before Katie even finished half of hers.

Now I know that I am the true champion of chocolate eating, and I will crush Katie the pretender when we meet on the field of battle!