The most important meeting of the decade!

I am absolutely delighted that two of my favorite people in the world, Ellen and Lindsey, have finally met! After years of hearing about each other all the time but never meeting in person, it was high time for these two amazing women to interact. They even got to share cooties when Ellen shared her water bottle with Lindsey in the stifling Albuquerque heat, and then again when they split an order of spinach artichoke dip for dinner. Although I was not actually involved in any way in orchestrating this meeting, the fact that it occurred just shows that the universe knew that Lindsey and Ellen were destined to finally meet, with or without my help!

Another nefarious scheme gone awry

Bwa ha ha! My nefarious scheme has worked! In a singlehanded stroke of genius, I managed to render nine of my mortal enemies temporarily incapacitated with the norovirus at a party on Saturday night!

There are only two problems with this. One: St. Carlos, my arch-nemesis, seems not to have succumbed. Perhaps if I make sure we play St. Petersburg with an infected copy of the game next time we meet...?

Two: I, uhm. May or may not have infected myself with this vile plague. No, really. I have no idea. It's hard to keep track when so many of my split personalities, including those that actually write this not-blog, are separated from my physical body.

On an unrelated note, I ought to offer up two notes of congratulations: first, to Lindsey, who now officially has a Ph.D. to back up her mad scientist street cred; and second, to Lisa, who may or may not actually graduate this semester, depending on if she manages to get off her butt and finish the projects she's got due this week.

I am a hero

The situation was dire. Many had gathered at Lindsey's abode last Saturday in anticipation of watching the Red Wings crush the Pittsburgh Penguins in game 4 of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The TV was turned on and the audience was waiting with bated breath for the game to begin when suddenly (horrors!) the cable went out! The evil cable company had chosen this exact time for their equipment to fail because it would do the most damage to the psyche of Michigan hockey fans. Alas, it seemed as if the villain would triumph and Lindsey would go crazy with rage and nervousness!!!

However, I would not allow this injustice to persist. I immediately leapt into action, sped home, and returned with the one item that could overcome this dastardly plot: rabbit ears! My disinclination toward television technology had saved the day, and all were able to enjoy the hockey game because of my quick and brave actions. I like to think I contributed directly to the Wings' glorious victory. I truly am a hero!

Cause for Celebration Pt 2

Continuing the trend of all the very best and coolest people in the world being born in September, it is my birthday today!

My birthday wish list includes chocolate, peanut butter (but not together!), pie, pi, a cat as wonderful as Isis, beating Carl at St. Petersburg, beating Lindsey at Doppelkopf, lots of red meat, Dance Dance Revolution (so I can practice my crazy-awesome moves!), more posts on my non-blog, and a date with a Red Wings player for my friend Lindsey.

There may be a few things I've forgotten. Feel free to suggest them here!

It is a cause for celebration!

Yes, gentle readers, it is my good friend Lindsey's birthday today. Be sure to send her all your well-wishes.

I, alas, have not yet purchased a gift appropriate for this momentous occasion. My initial goal was to buy her a date with the entire Red Wings hockey team, but alas, that was a bit out of my price range. Perhaps to console her, I shall take her out for some lovely, juicy steak. What woman, after all, can resist the delicious aroma of lightly braised red meat?

Hello from Vermont!

I mean…uh…my thoughts are in Vermont right now because my two good friends, Katie and Lindsey, are there for a conference and I miss them terribly. I’d cry myself to sleep at night but luckily I have a new female in my life. She reminds me of a goddess! With her adorable green eyes and shiny black hair she has captured my heart. I make sure to schedule time with her every day. She runs to the door to greet me whenever I show up at her house. Those of you who have met her know how friendly and fun she is, although she can be a little high maintenance. However, I am so honored to have the privilege of providing her dinner every night and showering her with love and attention. If only every cat could be as wonderful as Isis.

PS. I just want to make it clear that no matter how funny a blog post Lindsey and Katie may compose, I would never think of mentioning the ending of the new Harry Potter book to my dear friend Lindsey until she has had a chance to read it once she gets back from her conference, especially since she is going to tour a chocolate factory later this week and might bring home some tasty goodies.