Circumstances Most Mysterious

The bad economy is becoming absurd, and its repercussions are being felt even here at KBS. The number of homeless people in the area is increasing at an absurd rate; this very afternoon I set up several tents to control the amount of water on certain patches of grass provide these hobos with shelter from the rain; but alas, even this hard work is to no avail, as now there is, in fact, a hobo who has set up camp in my very yard! Unfortunately I am very busy with work this week, but I believe I shall ask Lisa, who is vacationing here at the moment, to investigate this phenomenon. Perhaps she can shed light upon this great mystery.

I am a hero

The situation was dire. Many had gathered at Lindsey's abode last Saturday in anticipation of watching the Red Wings crush the Pittsburgh Penguins in game 4 of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The TV was turned on and the audience was waiting with bated breath for the game to begin when suddenly (horrors!) the cable went out! The evil cable company had chosen this exact time for their equipment to fail because it would do the most damage to the psyche of Michigan hockey fans. Alas, it seemed as if the villain would triumph and Lindsey would go crazy with rage and nervousness!!!

However, I would not allow this injustice to persist. I immediately leapt into action, sped home, and returned with the one item that could overcome this dastardly plot: rabbit ears! My disinclination toward television technology had saved the day, and all were able to enjoy the hockey game because of my quick and brave actions. I like to think I contributed directly to the Wings' glorious victory. I truly am a hero!