On mustaches and women

What is this? Another mustache-related post? Perhaps I should change the subtitle of my blog to "Love, Happiness, Data, and Mustaches."

That being said, if I ever get married I am registering for this salt and pepper shaker. This also, of course, explains why I say "if" I get married; I cannot fathom why, but for some strange reason, most women do not quite seem to comprehend the wonders of the mustache, and regrettably, most would say something to the effect of "Shave RIGHT NOW" or "No we cannot decorate the house with photographs of famous mustaches." While I am a firm believer in compromises in relationships--I may even be okay with staying in a relationship with someone who is better at St. Petersburg than me--my unfailing love of the 'stache shall not be denied, and if it came to a choice between ending a relationship or getting rid of my growing collection of mustache-related artifacts, I must admit that the mustache would win every time.

A great cause!

Hello faithful readers,

I just learned of a great cause that fits perfectly with my values: grow a handsome mustache, and help support kids that have cancer!

Read about this great cause here.

Unfortunately it's too late for me to join this year, but maybe next year! If I do, I will gladly accept encouragement and donations for this cause. You can see the mustache progress of the brave & generous contestants this year by clicking on the "Browse the 'Staches" tab.

Ellen is trying to kill me

It's true! It must be! Two death attempts only a week apart confirm it! First last week she gave me a heart attack with the surprise "party," and then on Saturday, she repeatedly challenged me to sword duels and caused me to injure my hand severely! I mean, sure, the duel was on WiiSports and the hand injury came when I actually managed to beat her, flung my arms up in a victory motion, and hit my hand against the low ceiling... but the point is, I'm beginning to think that she's a serious health threat to me!

Important News Bulletin

Since I know many of you were concerned about my health this afternoon, I just wanted to let everyone know that I AM okay, I AM home from the hospital now and resting comfortably, and the doctors WERE able to repair the damage to my heart caused by the shock of about a dozen people jumping out of my dining room screaming "Surprise!" and "Happy Birthday!"

This ends this important news update. We now return to our regularly scheduled lack of updates.

I'm going to do it!

It is the birthday of one of my two favorite people as mentioned in the last post. And, for her birthday, in order to make her the happiest woman in the world, I'm going to... join Facebook! Is that not truly the best gift I could ever give her? And, heck, it'll make my OTHER favorite person happy too! It's a win-win!

The most important meeting of the decade!

I am absolutely delighted that two of my favorite people in the world, Ellen and Lindsey, have finally met! After years of hearing about each other all the time but never meeting in person, it was high time for these two amazing women to interact. They even got to share cooties when Ellen shared her water bottle with Lindsey in the stifling Albuquerque heat, and then again when they split an order of spinach artichoke dip for dinner. Although I was not actually involved in any way in orchestrating this meeting, the fact that it occurred just shows that the universe knew that Lindsey and Ellen were destined to finally meet, with or without my help!

The torch has been passed...

Faithful readers,

Rob's wedding has come and gone, and it is my hope that he is enjoying married life and taking care of his new wife by providing her with lots of chocolate. I am very happy for them! But indeed my feelings are bittersweet. For as I sat there at their wedding, watching them begin their married life together, it occurred to me that Rob can (sadly) no longer fulfill the role he had in the game night group.

"What to do?" I thought to myself, pondering this for weeks afterward. As I contemplated the consequences of Rob's situation, interacted with friends at game night, and discussed this with those closest to me, my responsibility became increasingly clear:

I have decided to take up Rob's role as the non-married male who randomly proposes to women friends.

I want you to know that this will not be easy for me, but my desire to do this comes from a deep conviction that Rob is, as they say, "the man." The next stage of my plan is to speak with Rob in order to learn the tricks of the trade: how to be incredibly spontaneous, how to not upset certain friends, how to rig the deck in order to "accidentally" and repeatedly get 2 queens of clubs during doppelkopf games, how to work up the nerve to call someone the evening before their wedding, and, of course -- how to pull the ultimate stunt and propose to 14 friends at once on facebook. Hm, I guess I'll at least need a facebook account for that one...

Where is Nancy???

I was overjoyed at the news that my good friend Nancy was about to join Facebook, but several days later I hear that she has still not appeared! I am getting impatient, because once Nancy has joined and prepared the way for me, then I can finally make my glorious appearance on Facebook to the amazement and delight of all my friends who want to be able to keep in touch with me. But I can't join until after Nancy does it! Where oh where is Nancy?

The cat's pajamas

Few know of my secret, hidden desire: to be a world-famous ukulele player. Well, if I lacked encouragement to pursue my dream, I certainly don't need it anymore:


Yessirree, once I get my hands on one of these babies...well! Wouldn't I just be the bee's knees!

(Source)

To bribe or not to bribe

Some time ago, my dear friend Lisa asked me about my research, stating that she would, if possible, feature my work as The. Preeminent. Student. Scholar at MSU in the world-famous, widely lauded Engaged Scholar Magazine. Unfortunately, it has since come to my attention that there may be competition for that coveted national--nay, international place of honour and recognition.

My course of action is clear, of course: I will hire Tom to bust the head editor's kneecaps bribe Lisa with baked goods to ensure she keeps pushing for me to receive this prestigious honour. So, what should I make to bribe her?

On facial hair

Since I, alas, seem unable to grow a splendid handlebar mustache, I have decided there is only one proper alternative:

http://www.beardhead.com/

Hmm... if I were on Facebook, I would have been able to share this much more easily...

Decisions, decisions

Hi faithful readers,

Well...I have to say that it's been awhile since I've blogged. Sorry about that! I've been busy digging myself out of the huge snowfalls we've received this winter.

I'll get right to the point: I'm trying to make a potentially life altering decision. I need your advice and input:

Should I join Facebook?

Sure, blogging has its perks, but it takes a lot of energy to write an entire blog post. By joining facebook, I could simply write enlightening status updates from time to time. Or post pictures of my mustache attempts. Or engage in SuperPoke wars. The possibilities are endless! I think it would help me feel like I was keeping in touch with my friends, even if I actually wasn't talking with them at all. That could be nice.

But something inside of me hesitates -- which is why I haven't joined yet. Help me release my inner grudge against social networking! After all, I'm looking forward to all of the fun pieces of flair I'll receive...